Cultural faux-pas, and question of the day:

[erinlefey]

[Public]

Last night I was at a party, and was introduced to a gentleman with a beard and cool hat. Typically when I'm introduced to someone, I hug them, and brother, when a economy-size woman hugs you, you know it. I could sense some unease though, and just offered to shake hands. The lovely woman who was introducing us explained that he was an Orthodox Jew, and Orthodox Jewish men cannot touch a woman with whom they are not married. Whups.

Did not know that, and it's nifty to learn, and glad I learned it before I violated a cultural more of his. My question to My Dear Readers is this: Are there any similar cultural differences you've run into socially? What are they and how do you deal with it?

Comments

[purplerifka.livejournal.com]

it is not a relationship thing.
negiah is related to niddah which has to do with family purity laws based on a woman's "cleanliness" and "uncleanliness" during menstruation and after childbirth.
DISCLAIMER: the hebrew words are translated as "clean" and "unclean" but have a spiritual meaning more than a physical one and the concept is not one i can adequately explain here.

gay orthodox males do not have a probelm with the laws of niddah amongst themselves.

also, i have met many orthodox men who will shake hands with other women in their community if that woman offers her hand first. by offering her hand she is showing that she is not in "her time."

i recognize that these laws may seem ridiculous at best, misogynst at worst to many outside the community.

but i would urge that you be respectful of others regardless of your personal beliefs, at least in your public dealings with them.

their ways may not be yours, or even mine, but imo, orthodox jews have been part of the reason the jewish community is still in existence.

[erinlefey.livejournal.com]

"but i would urge that you be respectful of others regardless of your personal beliefs, at least in your public dealings with them."

Rifka, sweets, I think you're seeing offense where none is intended. zahav is a grad student in religious studies, I believe it may be specifically on Judaism. I'm not sure how things in this thread got off kilter, but let's bring it back on-kilter. You and zahav may end up disagreeing, but I've never seen any disrespect from Zahav towards any religion.

[purplerifka.livejournal.com]

i probably didn't communicate well enuf, i wasn't seeing anything offensive in zahav's response, i think i was being pro-active as i've spent so many years having to defend orthodox judaism to others.

but no, i definitely didn't see his post as being offensive.

[skygoesgrey.livejournal.com]

"his"

ha:)

look, love, you're getting sir'd on the internets! woot!

[purplerifka.livejournal.com]

is that a good or bad thing?
i didn't mean to assume anything about gender- i think i assumed (and i totally shouldn't have- i plead being tired and hungry when i posted) because afaik zahav is a masculine word, the feminine equivalent is zahava.

but again i totally apologize if i offended.

[skygoesgrey.livejournal.com]

no! you didn't at all. Jo likes being sir'd:)